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Writer's pictureStephen Burckhardt

Friday Funnies: Mother's Day Edition


My mom and Granny (her mother)


Hello Posse!


With Mother's Day coming up, I thought today would be a great day to focus on Mothers. I know I would likely not be here today if I had not had my mother supporting me through all my brain surgeries. At one point, she even took time off of work to live in the hospital with me to help take care of me. How do you ever repay something like that?

(Love you, Mom a.k.a. Sharon Stephens)


A good start for Mother's Day would be to make mom laugh. So here are a few jokes I hope all your mothers will enjoy! Happy Mother's Day to you all!


Best wishes!

Stephen


 

Here are the jokes . . . some are even funny.


Dad has never been very tech savy so mom has been trying to help him. Dad recently started texting with the family but he doesn't understand all the acronyms.


Dad texting mom . . .

Dad: Hon, your great-uncle, Tom, texted. Your great-aunt Doris just died. I'm so sorry. LOL

Mom: What? That's not funny!

Dad: Funny? What do you mean?

Mom: LOL = Laugh Out Loud!

Dad: Oh NO! I thought it meant Lots of Love. I need to call Tom!

 

Dad: What do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Mom: I don't know, love you, talk to you later.

Dad: Okay, Ill go ask Stephen.

 

In an attempt to improve the families health, mom started studying nutrition and was excited to share what she had been learning with the family. At dinner one night, she pointed out the variety of colors in the food.


"You always want a variety of colors on your food. The more colors you have the more variety you will have in your nutrients." mom explained.


Pointing to her daughters plate, mom asked, "How many different colors do you see?"


"Seven!" her daughter happily answered.


After a short pause she added, "But only six if you don't count the burnt part."

 

Son: Why are a computers so smart?

Mom: Because they listens to their motherboards.

 

Son: Dad, what's the difference between a pack of wolves and a pack of cookies?

Dad: I don't know, what?

Son: If you don't know, I'm glad Mom does the grocery shopping!

 

Sister Mary Margret: Tell me, Sally. Do you always say a prayer before you eat?

Sally: No, Sister, I don’t have to do that. My mom is a very good cook.

 

A former martial arts champion decided to join the local police force.

On the last day of training, the instructor was giving them all their final exam.

The officer steps up to this 6'6", heavily tattooed, martial arts champion and begins to question him.

Officer: Recruit, what would you do if you had to arrest your own father?

Recruit: I would do my duty and arrest him, sir.

Officer: And what would you do if you had to arrest your own brother?

Recruit: I would do my duty and arrest him, sir.

Officer: And what would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?

Recruit: Call for backup!

 

You know you’re a mom when…

. . . picking up another human to smell their butt is not only normal but totally necessary.

. . . when you catch yourself spelling words in adult conversations.

. . . going to the bathroom is usually a group event.

. . . there are more snack foods on the floor of your car than in a snack machine.

. . . you have a reminder set for "take a shower".

. . . you fantasize more about a full nights sleep than anything else.

. . . you understand why momma bear's porridge was cold.

 

In case you can't get out to pick up a card for mom, here are some great homemade card ideas for Mother's day you can make with things around the house.

Quarantine Boredom Buster!

I thought today I would share some great craft ideas for Mother's Day gifts. Not only will it give the family something fun to do but it will give you some great gifts for mom you will not have to go shopping for during this time. I personally love the painted rock and vintage bookmark ideas. Enjoy!


Mother's Day Crafts!


 

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